Deal with Stress: Setting priorities, exercising and helpful steps

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For many people, stress is triggered by lack of control.

Both at work and at home, stress is more related to lack of control than to heavy demands.

Menopause is a perfect example of an event that is beyond the control of women. Women may experience such uncontrollable symptoms as anxiety, irritability and sleeplessness during menopause. At the same time, menopausal women may be dealing with other issues that they have no control over, such as their children leaving home and their parents becoming unable to care for themselves.

Stress also can be triggered by the nurturing and caregiving roles that women often assume. Many women, for example, scale down their own aspirations so that they can address the needs of their marriages, their children and possibly their parents.

By constantly putting others before themselves, women can end up exhausted, resentful and depressed. They can lose their identity and their purpose. Eventually, they burn out.

Another significant source of stress for women is balancing multiple responsibilities, including work, home, family, and personal interests.

Achieving balance, however, can be made difficult by a number of things, including the following:

increasing external pressures, such as longer workdays, longer commutes and second jobs
family and social expectations, such as being called on to address family troubles and issues
internal conflicts, such as identifying personal wishes
feelings of guilt, such as being reluctant to fulfill the wishes of all family members
perfectionism, such as trying to do everything absolutely correct 100% of the time
anger and sadness over failing to achieve balance in the past.

Achieving balance.

Women can take a number of steps to overcome the difficulties in achieving balance. But they should not try to take those steps all at once. They should start by choosing one small step and taking it. Among the steps that women can chose from are the following:

Women should determine their highest priorities, and they should determine their goals for what they really want to accomplish. Once they have a clear picture of their priorities and goals, they are better prepared to make the kinds of decisions that will help them stay in balance.
Women should identify the causes of stress in their lives, and they should identify resources for resolving them. If, for example, a source of stress is arriving at work late, the resource for fixing that might be leaving for work 15 minutes earlier, or it might be getting organized at night instead of in the morning.
Women should "pick their spots." This requires directing energy into projects that offer the greatest return. Women should fight for goals that they can realistically achieve and that can have a significant impact on their lives.
Women should affiliate with people who support their growth. This includes being surrounded by people who encourage efforts to manage stress.
Women should support their own efforts to create balance in their lives. They should stop being their own worst critics and, instead, reward themselves even for small achievements. If women do not reward themselves, it's going to be hard for other people to.
Women should take "baby steps." They should make changes that are small or not risky. By taking small steps, women can build their courage to take larger steps, and they minimize their feelings of guilt. In addition, small steps can more easily become part of daily life so people are more likely to stick with them.
Women should diversify their "life portfolios." They should begin looking at the things they always wanted to do but have pushed aside for more pressing matters. They should begin taking steps that will allow them to do those things. For example, if a woman has always wanted to take a pottery class, she could start putting money away for such a class. Taking such measures can put energy back into people.
Women should increase their physical activity. Exercise increases energy, and it relieves stress. It also boosts self-confidence, and it increases overall health. Research indicates that accumulating 30 minutes of exercise on most days of the week can be beneficial. Women do not have to exercise 30 minutes in one bout. They can exercise in 15, 10 or five minutes a few times a day.
Women should take time for rest and relaxation. Relaxation techniques--such as deep breathing--lower blood pressure, lower heart rate, and decrease muscular tension. Relaxation helps people to get away from their stressful situations and focus on themselves.

Article credit: Sherri Martin

A health educator, Martin is a coordinator in the Department of Health Promotion at the Northwestern Memorial Wellness Institute in Chicago. In that role, she implements and coordinates wellness programs for Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago, the community surrounding the hospital, and several Chicago companies.

Sherri Martin delivered an address on stress management at the American Osteopathic Association's first National Symposium on Women's Health in Chicago.

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